Onlin [e] Guid [e]

As if you needed more evidence that texting is more dangerous than swine flu, a 15-year-old girl from Staten Island walked into an open manhole while texting. She's fine, don't worry, although she did lose a shoe in the sewer.

Alexa Longueira fell about 4 or 5 feet into an open manhole in Staten Island, scraping up her back and shoulders in the process, although she is otherwise physically unharmed. Her mother noted that she was also mentally injured, as the sewer was "putrid" and one of her shoes remains down there. Apparently, there were some DEP workers on the scene who were "looking" for cones to mark the area when the girl fell in.

The Longueira family says they will sue, although it's not clear exactly who—the city? The cellphone company? Alexa herself, for not watching where she was walking? Regardless, we are all allowed to laugh at this story, at teenagers with their texting, and at Staten Island as a whole, because the girl is unhurt. Proceed.